Other People Don’t Have Opinions

I know someone who experiences some low energy, depression-type feelings fairly often and has for a long time.

His experience of this has changed for the better over time. He resists it less than he used to. He believes his mind’s stories and judgments about “him and his depression” far less than he used to. He finds himself more at home in life, however life is arising, which has made way for a more fluid, varied experience.

He’s grateful for his own shifts, but he’s quick to point out that there is still the problem of other people.

They don’t like how he is.

They have opinions–different from his own, he’ll be sure to add–about what’s wrong with him, how he should feel, and which activities he should be able to participate in.

He can barely appreciate that his own judgment has lifted because his family’s judgment hasn’t.

But here’s the thing: his family’s judgment is his judgment. It’s judgment arising in his awareness, disguised as “theirs”. It’s creative thought playing dress up as “the problem of other people”.

You know how sometimes people express opinions that feel heavy and burdensome, like this man’s family’s opinions of his condition, and other times people express opinions that we couldn’t care less about?

Sometimes it looks like other people are holding us back with their pesky opinions. Other times, their thoughts–even when quite judgy– look completely powerless and irrelevant?

What’s this difference down to?

Thought, of course (what else?).

Minds are very good at projecting thought onto other people and circumstances. So good that it’s near impossible to recognize it as projection.

If it was nowhere in my friend’s consciousness that there was anything wrong with his energy and activity levels, would he experience his family’s opinions about these things? Would he feel them as a problem? No way.

It’s only because it arises within his experience that it’s part of his experience. Because his mind is so sneaky when it comes to assigning those judgments to others, it truly looks like their opinions are solid and they matter. But please see that this isn’t truly about other people at all.

His mind is creating his experience of his family, their opinions, his opinions, his energy levels, his end table, vase of flowers, morning coffee, and himself. It’s all “his”…and “his” is a thought too so actually, none of it belongs to anyone.

It’s simply what’s arising.

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