Deep, lasting change happens when we see things in a brand new way.
As I wrote in The Little Book of Big Change, the kind of deep, lasting change we all want isn’t dependent on willpower, daily practices, or hard work.
It happens by insight. Insight, “a sight from within”, is simply a brand new way of seeing things.
When we see things in a new way, lasting change is the natural consequence.
Most change methods people talk about are behavior-based or thought-based. They’re either about behaving differently (e.g., “Do these five things every day” or “Follow this 3-step strategy”), or they’re about changing your mindset or thoughts.
But when my child is afraid of a monster in his room, no amount of behavioral steps (“Take some deep breaths and repeat ‘There’s no such thing as monsters’”) or mindset tweaks (“You’re so strong, you could slay any monster!”) will help. When I turn on his light and show him that the monster is a shadow–when he sees firsthand that there truly is no monster–his fear is gone. It simply doesn’t make sense to be afraid anymore because the “monster” looks completely different.
It’s the same with our habits, anxieties, and other things that look like problems. Trying to behave them away doesn’t go deep enough.
It’s not sustainable.
Trying to think them away doesn’t work either. It’s ingenuine and superficial.
But seeing them for what they truly are–more like shadows than actual monsters–goes deep. Change happens naturally as a result of what we see.
If your past change attempts haven’t worked, it’s not your fault. You weren’t using the right tools.
Seeing things in a brand new way is the right tool.
