How to believe in your positive qualities

In the newsletter a few weeks back I told you was reading a book called The Shadow Effect. “Shadow work” is relatively common in the self-help world…it’s about delving into and coming to fully embrace your shadow parts.

Your shadow parts are similar to what you might think of as flaws or faults but that’s the whole point….they’re not flawed. You’re not flawed.  You simply have light and dark, just like everything in the Universe.

Without dark you wouldn’t know light and that’s not just cliché. Think about it—if everyone was always good, it’d be kind of freaky, wouldn’t it?

We wouldn’t even know them as “good” or appreciate the positive. Contrast is what makes the positive possible.

So anyway, you have shadow parts. And it’s in your best interest to get to know them and come to love and accept them as a totally okay and valid part of you.

What we resist persists, so when you try to hide the fact that you’re gay, for example, you get caught having sex with men in airport bathrooms. When you try to always appear perfect, you end up anorexic.

The shadow will come out and it deserves to; there’s nothing wrong with it. So it’s always smart to let it out on your own terms.

To me, the most important reason to accept your shadow isn’t because it’ll come out and screw you if you don’t. It’s because as long as you lie to yourself about your shadow, you’ll never be able to trust your own judgment.

You’ll never be able to truly appreciate your awesomeness because you’ll think you can’t be trusted. Since you can’t accept your shadow, you’ll wonder if you can really accept your virtues.

I constantly talk to people who are hesitant to accept their awesomeness. We’ve all been there.

This is why.

Related Posts:

The paradox of self-help.

Why you don’t love yourself more. And how to.

You don’t hate yourself.

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