What to do when you don’t know what you want

For all the talk about getting clear on what you want, having a vision, keeping your eye on the prize…

…I want to tell you that it’s also okay to have no flippin’ clue what’s next.

It’s okay to not know exactly what you want.

It’s okay to have no vision. Or for your vision to simply be: Something that is not this.

When people ask: Where do you see your business heading? Do you think you’ll marry him? Where do you want to be in 5 years? It’s okay to come up blank. To say, “You know, I don’t know.”

That totally clueless place where you feel very little passion and nothing feels quite right is part of transitioning into something new.  It’s not always there in transition, but it is often there.

When people (life coaches, self-help books, “people who know”) talk about the importance of clarity and having a vision, they aren’t wrong.

But there is a season for everything. There is a season to be tired and feel lost and come up blank, just like there is a season for a vision and a crystal clear dream.

What do you do if you have no vision? If nothing sparks your interest and you have idea where you’re headed?

Wait. Yep. Just wait.

While you’re waiting, you could be really easy on yourself. Allow yourself to cocoon, not sure what your next incarnation will look like. You could even allow yourself to enjoy the downtime, if you’re a real over-achiever.

Something is next…that you know for sure. Something will feel exciting again and that day will probably be a pretty exciting one. But in the meantime, just hang out in your cocoon and wait.

Listen for nudges—not so that the wait will be over faster, just so that you don’t lose you’re your listening-for-nudges muscle.

Follow hunches when you get them. But if you don’t get any hunches for what feels like forever, don’t tell a story about the absence of hunches. It doesn’t mean anything.

Let pleasure be your guide. The question to ask yourself a million times a day is: what feels like pleasure right now? A nap? A run? A bad movie you’ve seen 10 times? Okay, do that.

Then when you wake up or get back from your run or when your movie is over…just keep on waiting.

You will emerge from your cocoon a new (man or) woman someday, with sparks of passion and ideas and creativity and interests. I promise, you will. Just not today.

Today is not a day to create, it’s a day to wait. That’s all.

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