Binge eating involves recurrent episodes of eating large amounts of food very quickly or to the point of physical discomfort. People who binge eat often feel out of control around food and powerless to stop binge eating. Binges are typically followed by feelings of guilt or shame and sometimes–although not always–attempts to compensate for the binge by restricting food, vomiting or overexercising.
Binge eating disorder is the most common eating issue worldwide.
My books, podcast, coaching, and online courses have reached thousands of people who are trying to overcome binge eating. I am passionate about helping people end this habit because I struggled with it myself for eight years.
Like most binge eaters, I “knew better”. I knew that I didn’t want to binge, and I knew that if I just stop acting on my urges, I wouldn’t have this habit. But even though it looks simple, I didn’t truly know how to stop binge eating. I felt completely powerless over my urges. When an urge to binge arose, I felt I had no choice but to follow through.
After each binge, I swore it was my last. Once the energy of a binge period (which could be anywhere from several hours to a week or more, in my case) would begin to dissipate, I felt disgusted with myself and was committed to “get back on track”. My binge periods were often followed by a period of depriving myself of food and extreme over-exercising in an attempt to compensate for the binge.
I see now that the compensation period set me up for the next binge and made it harder to stop binge eating overall . The harder I was on myself for the binge–the more I swore that was the last time and the stricter I was in my compensation tactics–the worse the next binge was and the more defeated I felt. This cycle of feeling hopeless followed by dedicated, clear, and hopeful happened over and over, making the guilt and shame that much worse each time.
I couldn’t see how to stop binge eating and break free from the cycle. I tried many therapies and outpatient treatment programs. I tried to control my food. I prioritized self-care. I did self-help techniques aimed at self-love and therapeutic techniques aimed at healing old traumas. I had energy work done. Most of these felt nice at the moment and many had some benefits for my life, but none of them significantly helped my binge eating.
I can tell you that after having been free of this habit for nearly 10 years and having seen so many people overcome binge eating and find complete freedom, this is a changeable habit. Binge eating is not something you need to live with, as I was told by well-meaning but ill-informed professionals. It’s not something you need to learn to cope with or manage long-term.
The things that were most helpful for me–and that I see being key for the thousands of people I’ve seen become free of the binge eating habit–fall into a few main categories: How to eat to be free of binge eating, how to view emotion in order to stop binge eating, what to realize to stop. This article deals with the first of these, but you can read the next article in this series about how to feel and what to realize to stop binge eating by following the link at the end of this article.
How to Eat to Stop Binge Eating
Many people who struggle with binge eating have a history of dieting. Dieting, restricting food, cutting out particular foods or entire food groups, or giving yourself rigid rules around eating “good” or “bad” foods all contribute to binge eating. If you’re doing these things, you’re innocently setting up your brain to want to eat as much food as possible and it will likely be much more difficult to stop binge eating.
Starvation-mode and Survival
From a survival-based brain perspective, it makes perfect sense that restricting food in any way would lead to the desire to eat large quantities. When you deny yourself food for a period of time, as is often the case with dieting or when one tries to compensate for a recent binge, your brain feels threatened and goes into starvation mode. Starvation mode doesn’t mean you’re truly starving, it just means that your brain senses that you might be starving in the future so it jumps into action to prevent that. In starvation mode, your metabolism slows down to conserve energy, you may get cold easily, feel disoriented or depressed, have trouble sleeping, and experience many other physical and psychological symptoms.
A brain in starvation mode is extremely insecure, unsure when the next meal is coming. When it has the opportunity, it will binge. This is hardwired into us for evolutionary reasons. For the earliest humans, life was feast or famine. There was no ability to store food for later and there was no promise that food would be found at a later time. We evolved to eat what we can when food is scarce. In starvation mode, the brain believes food is scarce so it can be incredibly difficult to stop binge eating when you’re not eating adequately and consistently.
Food Obsession
Dieting and deprivation also lead to obsessing about food. Whether it’s physical deprivation (not eating enough) or mental deprivation (extreme judgment and guilt after eating), a brain will become hyper-focused on food in an attempt to ensure your survival. When you’re hungry, or when food is not allowed, it’s all you can think about. Eating adequate nutrition and allowing yourself to enjoy the foods you want will show your brain that it doesn’t need to obsess over food.
Willpower is no Match
These survival-based responses are extremely difficult to override, thankfully! They aren’t meant to be overridden. Willpower is not how you will stop binge eating. Using willpower to try to force yourself to eat less than your body needs is very unlikely to work long term.
Dieting, physical or even mental restriction puts your brain and body in a constant state of crisis that willpower is no match for.
Eating Enough (You May Need More than You Think)
Clearly, getting adequate nutrition in a relaxed way, without guilt or judgment, is an important step to help you stop binge eating. Allow yourself to eat what you want, when you want it, until you feel satisfied.
This sounds simple, and it is incredibly simple for people without eating issues. But for chronic dieters or binge eaters, this can feel very difficult. You may not trust your own judgment when it comes to what your body needs. I definitely experienced this when I was overcoming binge eating. I had spent years choosing foods based on everything but physical hunger–number of calories, perceived ‘safety’, time of day, how much I had already eaten that day, my current weight…it felt like I had forgotten how to simply eat what I wanted based on hunger and stop when I was satisfied.
This is very common, and it is temporary. You will notice your body communicating with you again as you begin to listen to it again. Start where you are, by simply doing your best to eat what you want without rules and guidelines. If you’re still listening to your mind (rather than your body) you may underestimate how much food you truly need. Most people do, and almost all dieters do. If you are willing to let your body’s hunger and tastes dictate when you eat, you will find that it gets easier and more natural in time.
Don’t Diet or Restrict
When you do have a binge of a meal that is larger than you’re comfortable with, don’t restrict food to compensate. Restricting or dieting does not actually make up for a binge at all long term; just the opposite–it sets the next binge into motion. Begin to get into the habit of eating what you want when you’re hungry, regardless of what you’ve eaten previously. This is how to help yourself stop binge eating.
Don’t Label Foods Good or Bad
Do your best to allow all foods. Obviously, if you have an allergy to a particular type of food, or if you have a true preference against certain foods, you may not choose to eat them. That’s natural and does not throw your brain into deprivation mode.
Eating to celebrate, connect with others, because a food tastes amazing, or even purley for comfort is normal, safe behavior. It’s the fear and judgment of these behaviors that hurts us. Eating to hunger and taste without rules or deprivation, and without guilt and judgment, shows your brain that it is safe–starvation is not a threat and it doesn’t need to binge for protection or survival.
Be Patient and Loving with Yourself (and Know that Your Weight will Balance out)
Beginning to re-feed your body based on hunger rather than rules can be an emotional process. Concerns about weight gain and body image will likely surface. It can feel very emotional to let go of long-term judgments and habits around dieting. Emotional ups and downs are very normal and tend to be very temporary.
Your weight may or may not fluctuate during this time. It’s not uncommon to gain a bit of weight as you stop restricting and dieting, but it’s also not uncommon to lose some weight as binge eating slows down or stops, and as your metabolism picks back up.
Best you can, set your weight aside. It can take some time of consistent re-feeding for your weight to balance out and for urges to binge eat to stop altogether. Be patient and loving with yourself as you navigate these ups and downs. You are doing something that is physically and emotionally healthy for you in the long run. It will pay off.
To see more about how to experience emotion and what insights you can realize that will help you stop binge eating, read our another article What to do if you are binge eating.
About the Author
Amy Johnson, PhD is a psychologist, coach, author, and speaker who shares a groundbreaking new approach that helps people find lasting freedom from unwanted habits, anxiety, and self-doubt via insight rather than willpower.
She is the author of Being Human, The Little Book of Big Change: The No-Willpower Approach to Breaking Any Habit, and Just a Thought: A No-Willpower Approach to End Self-Doubt and Make Peace with Your Mind. In 2017 she opened The Little School of Big Change, an online school that has helped thousands of people find freedom from anxiety and habits and live a more peaceful life.
Amy also shares the no-willpower approach in her top-rated podcast, Changeable, and she’s trained over 70 coaches in her Change Coach Training Program. She has been a regularly featured expert on The Steve Harvey Show and Oprah.com, as well as in The Wall Street Journal and Self magazine.
If you are looking for help to stop binge eating, please check out The Little School of Big Change. There is a self-study version that you can do at your own pace and there is a guided version where Dr. Amy supports people for 6 weeks. There is also an incredible community around The Little School of Big Change that you can be part of once you’ve been through the course.