Category: Being Human

How to Live with Your Mind at Ease: An Illustration

The fluid, easy, common sense way of being in the world that I write and speak about is both incredibly deep and profound, and also incredibly evident and obvious. It is life-changing and core-shaking, and at the same time subtle and gentle.I’ve seen people grasp these truths and become literally unrecognizable, shocking everyone who knows

To Speed Up or To Slow Down?

I once heard that humans are the only living creatures that speed up when we’re lost. All other animals in nature slow down. Non-human animals instinctively stop and regain their bearings if they aren’t sure where they are or where they are going. They slow way down, letting their mind settle and allowing clarity—and perhaps

What does Inside-Out Really mean, Anyway?

At first glance, it looks like the world around us determines how we feel. It looks like: Your cat runs away = you feel sad. If your cat hadn’t run away = you’d feel better.And that’s probably true about the cat. I mean, it’s not true for everyone, always, across the board. But in general, when

Are you Going Through Life Putting Stakes in the Ground?

We humans love to put metaphorical stakes in the ground.Our minds crave certainty and efficiency. As a way of feeling more certain, we love to label, classify, decide, and generally believe that we know what’s what.Here’s how this can look:Liz was struggling with a binge eating habit. To help her move past her habit, we talked

Are you Life’s Annoying Backseat Driver?

My husband is a major backseat driver. To his credit, he tries hard not to be. He is quiet while I’m driving. It’s not like he’s screaming directions or barking orders at me–at least not since that last mid-trip “discussion”…But he definitely tries to drive from the passenger’s seat. Every time I pull into traffic he’s

How we Create Problems for Ourselves (and How to Stop)

“If you think you’re enlightened, go spend a week with your family.” ~Ram Dass I just returned from a four-day trip with my family. It was my own family of four (my husband and two kids), plus my mom, my two sisters, and my brother-in-law.It was great. We get along well and have fun together.And, it

You Get What You Get (and don’t throw a fit)

A couple years ago Willow came home from preschool repeating something her teacher had said in class.“You get what you get, and don’t throw a fit.”Maybe you’ve heard this before. I hadn’t, and I instantly loved it. Not only because it put a stop to a lot of “it’s not fair” arguments (it really did!),

It’s Called a No-Brainer for a Reason

A couple years ago I went to a 4 day event in La Conner, Washington. Choosing to go was a complete no-brainer. But following through on my choice was very hard for me.It felt hard to decide that it would be okay to leave my kids for 4 days (with their extremely responsible father who cares

When It’s Over, It’s Over

I heard something from a client yesterday that was music to my ears.In talking about her week prior, she said “I know it was full of ups and downs, but I didn’t feel the need to talk about them. And I don’t even remember them all now.”No, she not in denial and she doesn’t have

I Don’t Always Know What’s Best for My Daughter. Or Myself.

Willow started kindergarten last week. All summer, I listened as the moms in the neighborhood talked about the teachers at our local elementary school. Many of those moms are teachers themselves and all of them have children in the school already, so they had a lot of context I didn’t have.Which means I didn’t listen too